Saw this woman the other day wearing sandals, and both her pinkie toes pointed straight up to the sky, like they were permanently having tea with the queen.
PS Never, ever look up images of feet online.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The queen, tea and toes
Saw this woman the other day wearing sandals, and both her pinkie toes pointed straight up to the sky, like they were permanently having tea with the queen.
PS Never, ever look up images of feet online.
Transvestights
It will come as no surprise that my family are National Public Radio (NPR) freaks. Growing up we were tuned in to NPR in the mornings while we got ready for work/school and everywhere we went in the car (except for the phase mom went through that involved buying tapes to listen to in the Chevet: RunDMC and Twisted Sister come to mind. It IS tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time, by the way.)
NPR is a hard habit to kick, and I'm an avid user now as an adult. I used heavily while pregnant and am hoping Cam has it coursing through his veins. I even got my husband addicted. Everyone I know is addicted and whenever we're together we like to get high on the news.
Conversations in my circle go like this:
Me: "Could you believe about that zoo in Gaza?"
(Turning away from friend.)
"Grande skim latte with whip cream, please."
Friend: "Well, All Things Considered, finding those Lions after so many days was miraculous. Venti chai latte, thanks."
Me: "Hahahaha. Good one. It's so sad, though. Anyway, did you hear what Cokie said? Kills me. So smart, so funny."
Friend: "Totally. She's my hero."
Me: "I know, right? I'd love to have her for dinner, but then I'd feel really stupid."
Notice we need not mention NPR or the day and time we listened, and that we feel as though Cokie (born Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Boggs, which I just learned today) Roberts has been a friend since our moms could leave us in the Chevet with the windows cracked while they went grocery shopping for an hour. I spent that time shaving my legs with the razor ma left in the glove-compartment box, often listening to NPR. Or the Chariots of Fire soundtrack.
Anyway, this is a long run up for my point. I am emailed NPR news, and I recently read about an organization in San Francisco that was gathering hair clippings from salons, stuffing that hair in nylons/tights and sending it to Louisiana as human-hair booms are a natural way to soak up oil. The problem they were running into was that they had an abundance of hair, but no one wears stocking anymore. Except, that is, for the transvestite community, which has come forth a-plenty and saved the day.
And I just love the irony in that a stretch of Republican Louisiana beach, albeit only a very small section perhaps, will be saved because of transvestights.
If you'd like to listen to this most excellent story, go to this NPR link! An excerpt from All Things Considered.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
2010 UK Election -- Continued!
Congratulations to the U.K. for having a civilized political system. Love, hate, or don't care about politics, most countries (ahem, I'm talking to you, America) could learn a lot: like a 6-week campaign and a president/Prime Minister who steps down graciously even though he doesn't have to legally.
European elections, in general, are far shorter, cost far less and focus on far more important issues than the U.S. Where that leaves us, US(!), is candidates spending millions to billions to get elected (or not), candidates who dither over small and small-minded issues, and politicians who are frightened into inaction weeks into their terms because they want to get re-elected and god forbid they do something unpopular two years before the next race.
Naturally I can't find the source right now, but a few years back CNN lined up all the Western European heads of state and said how much money they were allowed to spend on campaigns. They're helped out by things like free TV ads (Britain) and other public funding, but by our standards it was laughable -- hundreds of thousands of dollars to a million or two max for Prime Ministers and Presidents.
I could have cried for joy when British politicians said abortion was not a campaign issue. At the time, Europe had been discussing new late-term abortion research for weeks, but both front runners said no, not our issue. On their radar, yes. Of concern, yes. But they preferred to go head-to-head on matters that were more pressing for a greater percentage of the public.
The U.K., Germany and Spain are all fairly religious places, yet you don't hear about it in politics, or daily life, really. God, like abortions, is a personal choice, not one to be discussed on air. Germany to this day doesn't have separation of church and state. Church tax comes out of your paycheck automatically unless you opt out. But then you can never get married in any church in the entire country. Spain is synonymous with Catholicism, and Henry the VIII invented something new to allow him to divorce. Europe is a churchy place -- you can't swing a cat without hitting a cathedral in any city or village, but shucks, folks. It's not worn on your sleeve. No ones talks about WWJD, if they believe, they just do.
Less talk, more action. It's refreshing.
Bon voyage, Mr. Brown. Valiant effort, and like anyone in a position that high (ack, erk, ouch, it hurts -- even Bush), you did what you thought was best at the time.
Good luck, Mr. Cameron. It's a poisoned chalice these days. Filled to the brim with an aging accelerant.
European elections, in general, are far shorter, cost far less and focus on far more important issues than the U.S. Where that leaves us, US(!), is candidates spending millions to billions to get elected (or not), candidates who dither over small and small-minded issues, and politicians who are frightened into inaction weeks into their terms because they want to get re-elected and god forbid they do something unpopular two years before the next race.
Naturally I can't find the source right now, but a few years back CNN lined up all the Western European heads of state and said how much money they were allowed to spend on campaigns. They're helped out by things like free TV ads (Britain) and other public funding, but by our standards it was laughable -- hundreds of thousands of dollars to a million or two max for Prime Ministers and Presidents.
I could have cried for joy when British politicians said abortion was not a campaign issue. At the time, Europe had been discussing new late-term abortion research for weeks, but both front runners said no, not our issue. On their radar, yes. Of concern, yes. But they preferred to go head-to-head on matters that were more pressing for a greater percentage of the public.
The U.K., Germany and Spain are all fairly religious places, yet you don't hear about it in politics, or daily life, really. God, like abortions, is a personal choice, not one to be discussed on air. Germany to this day doesn't have separation of church and state. Church tax comes out of your paycheck automatically unless you opt out. But then you can never get married in any church in the entire country. Spain is synonymous with Catholicism, and Henry the VIII invented something new to allow him to divorce. Europe is a churchy place -- you can't swing a cat without hitting a cathedral in any city or village, but shucks, folks. It's not worn on your sleeve. No ones talks about WWJD, if they believe, they just do.
Less talk, more action. It's refreshing.
Bon voyage, Mr. Brown. Valiant effort, and like anyone in a position that high (ack, erk, ouch, it hurts -- even Bush), you did what you thought was best at the time.
Good luck, Mr. Cameron. It's a poisoned chalice these days. Filled to the brim with an aging accelerant.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
2010 UK Elections
I’m going to totally muddle this, so don’t take it as gospel:
1. No one in the UK votes. At least no one under the age of 80. No one I met in the UK ever did.
2. The system is a lot like here. Largely a two-party system, though they have smaller parties that are usually regional (like Plaid Cymru in Wales). And the Queen has nothing to do with it whatsoever.
3. There's the House of Commons (literally, commoners, as in, Les Mis, “let them eat cake,” non-royal piss ants) who are elected by other peasants. Then there is the House of Lords, who are royals, Lords by birth or as assigned by the Queen/King.
4. The Prime Minister belongs to the House of Commons. The prime minister’s party has to have the majority in parliament in order to gain/maintain his position. So each county/borough/Podunk election (aka the local elections voting for MPs (Members of Parliament, not the PM) has to be won by the winning political party to see their candidate become PM.
5. If there is no clear majority (as is the case now), it’s called a hung parliament, and the existing PM may choose to resign or remain in place until…this is where I get foggy…there’s another election, or two parties come together to form a majority, because if you don’t have the majority vote, nothing gets passed unless the MPs cross party lines to vote with an opposing party.
6. So as I understand it, general elections are every 5 years, or can be called at any time by the PM in cases of the MPs/country voicing no confidence in the PM and his government (which means the MPs in the PM’s party who run the show). There were calls for Brown to call for a general election a few years ago, called by Cameron, but Brown didn’t pick up the phone, or his voicemail or the message in general.
7. By our terms, Brown is now a lame duck. A place holder. He won’t get anything passed, no one takes him seriously, vote of non-confidence. One of few PMs who haven’t resigned in his current predicament. Kinda stickin’ around just in case, and to make sure the entire country doesn’t spiral into the depths of abysmal economic hell.
8. David Cameron is the leader of the Conservative party (aka the Tories), their choice for PM. He is also a Shadow Minister in the Shadow Cabinet (leader of the opposition of the current Brown/Labor government, as he is the leader of the 2nd largest party in the UK at the moment -- prior to this election.) He is also a member of the privy council (don’t ask). So had the Conservatives won the majority, Cameron would have become PM.
Tories, Whigs, Shadow Ministers…I mean, you can see where the Harry Potter lady got her fodder. I thought treacle was one of her fictitious desserts until I moved to the UK, when I found that it is indeed a golden syrup-y item to be poured on cake. Which they call sponge. Cake/sponge, what we call desserts, are, according to the Brits, in an after dinner category called pudding (dessert).
If you think their government is confusing, try going out to eat. Because there’s lunch and dinner and tea, all of which are interchangeable depending on the family you’re eating with. So if someone invites you over for tea, you may get hot liquid in porcelain or an entire evening meal (usually takeout). And if you want pudding, they ask, “what kind?” and you say chocolate, and they are confused and bring you a bar of chocolate, not J-e-l-l-o pudding. And then they say, “would you like some spotted dick instead?” and you say, “Whoa, what kind of dinner party is this? No thanks, I’m not fond of venereal diseases,” and they say, “What? Crazy American. It’s a sponge.” And you say, “You want me to do the dishes?” and they say, “Crazy American. Spotted dick is a sponge with treacle on top, it’s a pudding you have after tea.” And you scream, “is it cake or pudding or a sponge -- and you haven’t even offered me tea or coffee yet!?!”
Suffice it to say, I don't know dick about British politics. This might help:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elections_in_the_United_Kingdom
1. No one in the UK votes. At least no one under the age of 80. No one I met in the UK ever did.
2. The system is a lot like here. Largely a two-party system, though they have smaller parties that are usually regional (like Plaid Cymru in Wales). And the Queen has nothing to do with it whatsoever.
3. There's the House of Commons (literally, commoners, as in, Les Mis, “let them eat cake,” non-royal piss ants) who are elected by other peasants. Then there is the House of Lords, who are royals, Lords by birth or as assigned by the Queen/King.
4. The Prime Minister belongs to the House of Commons. The prime minister’s party has to have the majority in parliament in order to gain/maintain his position. So each county/borough/Podunk election (aka the local elections voting for MPs (Members of Parliament, not the PM) has to be won by the winning political party to see their candidate become PM.
5. If there is no clear majority (as is the case now), it’s called a hung parliament, and the existing PM may choose to resign or remain in place until…this is where I get foggy…there’s another election, or two parties come together to form a majority, because if you don’t have the majority vote, nothing gets passed unless the MPs cross party lines to vote with an opposing party.
6. So as I understand it, general elections are every 5 years, or can be called at any time by the PM in cases of the MPs/country voicing no confidence in the PM and his government (which means the MPs in the PM’s party who run the show). There were calls for Brown to call for a general election a few years ago, called by Cameron, but Brown didn’t pick up the phone, or his voicemail or the message in general.
7. By our terms, Brown is now a lame duck. A place holder. He won’t get anything passed, no one takes him seriously, vote of non-confidence. One of few PMs who haven’t resigned in his current predicament. Kinda stickin’ around just in case, and to make sure the entire country doesn’t spiral into the depths of abysmal economic hell.
8. David Cameron is the leader of the Conservative party (aka the Tories), their choice for PM. He is also a Shadow Minister in the Shadow Cabinet (leader of the opposition of the current Brown/Labor government, as he is the leader of the 2nd largest party in the UK at the moment -- prior to this election.) He is also a member of the privy council (don’t ask). So had the Conservatives won the majority, Cameron would have become PM.
Tories, Whigs, Shadow Ministers…I mean, you can see where the Harry Potter lady got her fodder. I thought treacle was one of her fictitious desserts until I moved to the UK, when I found that it is indeed a golden syrup-y item to be poured on cake. Which they call sponge. Cake/sponge, what we call desserts, are, according to the Brits, in an after dinner category called pudding (dessert).
If you think their government is confusing, try going out to eat. Because there’s lunch and dinner and tea, all of which are interchangeable depending on the family you’re eating with. So if someone invites you over for tea, you may get hot liquid in porcelain or an entire evening meal (usually takeout). And if you want pudding, they ask, “what kind?” and you say chocolate, and they are confused and bring you a bar of chocolate, not J-e-l-l-o pudding. And then they say, “would you like some spotted dick instead?” and you say, “Whoa, what kind of dinner party is this? No thanks, I’m not fond of venereal diseases,” and they say, “What? Crazy American. It’s a sponge.” And you say, “You want me to do the dishes?” and they say, “Crazy American. Spotted dick is a sponge with treacle on top, it’s a pudding you have after tea.” And you scream, “is it cake or pudding or a sponge -- and you haven’t even offered me tea or coffee yet!?!”
Suffice it to say, I don't know dick about British politics. This might help:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elections_in_the_United_Kingdom
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