Fly the Friendly Skies My Ass

There has been serious talk in our household of moving to Texas, most likely Houston. Here is my 20-second word association with Texas. Go:
Bush
Christian fanatics
Tornadoes
BBQ
Blinding humidity
Raging lunatic Republicans
Bush
Inadequate educations
Big Hair
Waco
NRA
Bible belt
Dallas Cowboys
Obesity (minus the above's cheerleaders)
Hurricanes

Aaaaaaaaand time.

Now, before you say, "but Lindsay, you've never been to Texas," I'm going to say this: I've never been to the Gaza Strip, but I don't fancy living there either.

This is not the time to dive into politics or religion, no, no. I don't want people to think I'm misunderestimating their intelligence by using any loquaciously sneaky strategery. I will take higher ground, literally, because I heard somewhere that if you can't say something nice, talk about the weather.

Shoot, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, let's save some ink. I will leave you with Bush quotes, talking in, or about, Texas. The first picture is of the 342 category 3-5 tornadoes in Texas from 1950-2008, the second is of the hurricanes that have hit Texas from 1886-1996 (ergo, not including the last 14 years):

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"There's no question about it. Wall Street got drunk -- that's one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras -- it got drunk and now it's got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments." — Speaking at a private fundraiser and surreptitiously recorded by a reporter with the footage subsequently leaked on various news outlets, Houston, Texas, July 18, 2008[19]

P.S. I would very nearly move there anyway just to grow morbidly obese on BBQ.